Picking Petals Off a Rose
by Raptor3ggs
Summary: Kurama teaches his new star pupil, Rose Vanilla Teriyaki, the best method of fighting.  Read: Masochism.


"So, you face Hiei in the next round," Kurama mused, "It's a shame you have to fight him so early on, I was hoping you could have developed your skills a bit farther before taking on an opponent like him."

Rose looked at the fox demon, her eyes (One green, and the other half-green and half-gold) sparkling with absolute love-love – and a little confusion, "I thought you said that there was no way I would have to fight Hiei-chan!"

"Yes, well. These things happen," (Read: I was expecting you to lose in the first round, you insufferable twit.) "Hiei understands that you're still learning and that this tournament it a crucial part of that process; He'll go easy on you," (Read: It was _kind of_ nice knowing you.)

Rose nodded enthusiastically. "My mother will reward you fruitfully for your advice. It is a shame that she had to return to our clan, the Moon-Star-Sun Gods, before she could see your results, my love" (Read: I will give you money if you have sex with me right here.)

"Yes, when you came to us a week ago, knowing everything about us, I might add, I had little hope. But your powers are so unique that your opponents have been caught unawares," (Read: That you've made it this far is pure luck.)

Kurama winced, and Rose gripped his arm. "You're hurt! Let me heal you!"

Kurama smiled wearily, patting her hand and lifting it away, "No, no. This is nothing." (Read: Do not touch me.)

Rose, worried, nodded. "If, if you're sure. You're just such an amazing fighter – I don't get why you're always hurt."

A light in Kurama's eyes burned – Rose wondered if it was his happiness about her concern – as he said, "It's the way I fight – _the best way._ It is important that you know your opponent before you attack, that way, you can get him in one clean shot." (Read: I seem to get off on pain.)

"Oh, oh, I see," A plan was forming behind her magical eyes, "If it is the _best way_, then perhaps…"

Kurama gasped, "Oh, I see! Yes, perhaps that _would be_ the best way for you to deal with Hiei."

"But, how?" She pursed her lips, "How can I fight like you?"

"It requires the ability to take a bit of pain – You have that, don't you? And the ability to plan while under pain – which couldn't be a problem for _you."_

"You're right," she smiled, blowing a candy-pop kiss his way, "I've just got to endure a bit. Can't be too bad, it's Hiei-chan. He'll go easy on me."

"Yes, yes!" Kurama exclaimed, "But, Hiei gets lost in battle easily… Make sure you call him Hiei-chan often – you're the only one allowed to call him that. It'll remind him that it's _you_ that he's fighting, not someone else." (Read: Goodbye.)

Standing in the ring minutes later, Rose looked over at the short demon pleasantly, "You could surrender, Hiei-chan! I don't want to fight you!"

"I'm not surprised." (Read: I'm really not.)

Rose pouted, "You've always been so cold to me, Hiei-chan! But I know you like me – I belong to Kurama, so I'm sorry."

"I'll live." (Read: I really will.)

Rose didn't need to tell him that he was lying – she could see the hurt in his fiery eyes. "Kurama said you'd go easy on me, Hiei-chan. And you, you will, right?" She was a little worried.

Hiei looked away, "Hmph," he snorted. Rose took it as a good sign. Hiei wouldn't hurt her – after all, she knew all about his past, and about Yukina. She had even told Yukina _for _him! So he wouldn't have to be so shy around her anymore.

The announcer called the start of the fight, and Hiei dashed forward in an instant – Rose, remembering Kurama's training, stood absolutely still, waiting for Hiei's first strike – Kurama believed that she had the ability to endure pain, so she must, with the power of his love –

But, damn, she had to admit that was a lot of blood.

_Endure, endure, _she thought, stumbling a little. She could hear Hiei's brief laughter, but couldn't see him (Of course she couldn't, she knew he was fast! But, never imagined that he was _this _fast!) He slashed at her again, and she mumbled, "Is… is this you going easy?" (Read: This really hurts.)

"Actually," Hiei said, "It is." (Read: I'm pretty much just letting my sword fall on you. No real force behind it. Really. What are you made of? Butter? Is that what Moon-Star-Sun Gods are? _Butter?_)

Rose, not really wanting to prolong the fight, started using her powers – not well, with the blood loss and all. She had the ability to turn day to night, and vice versa. Night fell around the ring, and she ran (well, tried to,) to the other side of the ring. There was no way that Hiei could see her in this dark –

"Are you trying to run away?" She ran into Hiei on the other side, who had been standing still. "Because I don't think that's how it's done." (Read: It really isn't.)

"But… my power! You shouldn't be able to see me –"

"You're stumbling around like an idiot, not even bothering to hide your 'energy' – not to mention your footsteps. Or breathing." (Read: I know you're new at this, but that is pathetic.) "I know you're new at this, but that is pathetic." (Read: Reiteration.)

"Oh, alright, Hiei-chan!" She could see him twitch as she said this, she imagined it was him jolting out of battle-mode, "I guess you win!" (Read: This is a lot of blood coming out of me.)

"Don't call me that." (Read: Don't.)

"What? Hiei-chan? But – that's your name!" She giggled. "But I really need to… get to a… doctor or something. This is…wow. A lot of blood." (Read: Ow…)

"I know." (Read: What, do you think I did it on _accident?_)

"I'm feeling kind of light-headed. Ow. Ow."

"I suppose that's what dying feels like."

"D, dying? But, Yususke-sama-dono-san said that you're not supposed to kill in this tournament!"

"He wasn't _so_ specific." (Read: he said that he'd _rather_ no one die.)

"Hiei-chan…" She fell to her knees, "I didn't know you… were so angry that I chose Kurama over you…"

"…" (Read: There is a special place in hell for people like you.)

"Hiei-ch…ch…chan…"

Hiei had been told to make it a fairly clean death, but at that moment his sword stabbed straight into her forehead, pinning her to the ground. He closed his eyes, smiling. Finally. Silence.

"….Hiei…chan."

His eyes popped open, watching in horror as her arms rose and her hands wrapped around the blade. She yanked the sword out then, staring at him in horror, "You… you really tried to kill me just then, didn't you?" (Read: I was going to have pity sex with you, but that was kind of mean!)

"Yes." (Read: Why won't you _die?)_

Her wounds closed, smoking slightly, as she rose angrily. "I…I can't believe you would –" Thorns twisted around her head, tightening as she struggled.

"Hiei, now!" (Read: KILL IT WITH FIRE!)

The dragon, forming itself to the user's intent, ripped into the girl, devouring her body and soul. There was nothing left – nothing but one, half-green, half-golden eye, rolling silently towards Hiei. It bounced, somehow exclaiming, "I can't believe this! I can't! My _LOVE-LOVE_ will –"

"This is exhausting." (Read: It really, really is.)

"Well," Kurama mused, tapping his finger to his chin in thought, "She's more durable than we thought." (Read: What breed of pure evil is this?)

"Love…love?"

"_SPIRIT GUN!" _The voice sounded behind the floating eye, which turned just in time to see Yusuke's angry glare.

It was finally over. They all collapsed, exhausted. The last week had been a hell they never thought they would be free of – somehow, this, this monster had found out about Kurama (falling in love-love instantly) and began researching. Somehow – perhaps she had met just the right people, or maybe they had too many enemies – she had found out about _all _of them, using their secrets as excuses and blackmail to keep her around. They had long since destroyed the compilation, which she had called _Yu Yu Hakusho, _and had planned her death ever since.

"Yusuke-sama-dono-san?"

"Oh, GODDAMNIT JUST DIE!"

"What-what?" The misty, soul like form asked, "Didn't you know? Members of the Moon-Star-Sun clan are not capable of death."

At that moment, her body rematerialized from the mist, a slightly agitated look on her face. "I know it was a joke, but that was still mean guys." (Read: I'll be here forever.)

"_You _may not be capable, but _we _are!" Kurama exclaimed, "Quick, everyone! The cyanide tablets!"

(Read: The end.)

* * *

><p><strong>AN: (Read: Author's Note)<strong>

Okay, so I had to write SOMETHING. Chapter 8 of Work for It! Is 11,000 words and counting.

Come on, you guys love me. You know you do.

Internet yet? Nope, not yet. Soon. ; v ;


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